Saturday, May 26, 2007

Our First Kiss

I realize that this title might seem out of place in Lynne's blog but please bear with me. This week a friend encouraged Lynne and I to get away for a couple of days. I said to Lynne, "Your energy may never be better than it is right now. So let's go." With a few calls Lynne and I have reservations for a few days later in the week at a great place called Angel's Landing in Provincetown, MA.

As I have been anticipating getting time away with Lynne I have been flooded with all the memories we have made in Ptown. Well ... our first kiss was overlooking Herring Cove back some 18 years ago. Then there was meditating in the dunes (she was heavily into meditation at the time. Mostly I sat there with a peaceful look on my face thinking ... did I just get bit by another mosquito?) Before kids we used to camp in Ptown for weeks at a time, after kids we still camped in Ptown for weeks at a time. Independent of each other both kids wrote essays at school this year about there favorite place ... yet, they both were about Ptown. Nathaniel wrote: "My favorite place is Ptown. The ice cream is as tasty as cotton candy. The cotton candy is as tasty as ice cream." Lucy wrote:"I fell in love with Ptown and this is why, the ocean and gulls singing in harmony and the fragrant seawater. I saw many people so happy and worry free. I taste my Ben and Jerrys ice cream cone. I feel so safe like I am at home."

I have so many memories of sitting on the beach with Lynne - me ready to leave and Lynne wanting to stay and soak up every last ounce of the day. Lynne taught me that it really is okay to eat ice cream every night (in fact Lynne's rational for camping was we saved all that money so we can eat at great restauraunts and yes Ben and Jerry's) I remember biking for hours with Lynne in the dunes, feeling free and light and then sitting on the Post Office steps drinking ice coffee watching the world pass by. I remember romantic dinners with Lynne at the Mews, Lorraines, Cafe Edwidge and so many other places.

Many months ago when we were planning our summer vacations we decided (surprise) to go to Ptown. We have a place for the first two weeks in August. The same friend that suggested we get away now convinced us to rent a big Ptown house with her family in the last week in June. I hope and pray that the Lynne, the kids and I will be able to enjoy more time together there this summer. But around here we are living a day at a time and trying to capture precious moments where we can find them. So in few days Lynne and I will be heading out to Ptown. We will be leaving the bikes at home and we are bringing another set of wheels and a full supply of Oxycodon.

After Lynne's diagnosis last summer in Ptown we found a print of an ocean scene with the words: "The cure for anything is salt water; sweat, tears or the sea." It hangs in our bathroom. I look forward to going back to smell the sea, to let the tears flow, but mostly to make some more memories with Lynne to carry me through in the days ahead.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Patty,
It's great to hear from you!! I don't think the title is out of place at all!! I love hearing your precious memories...it's kind of like getting permission to look through your personal scrapbook!
Memories are wonderful, aren't they? They are kind of like little truffles of sweet moments to be savored whenever your soul needs comforting....or reminding.
Sometimes they bring bittersweet tears...but even those tears can heal and be comforting in themselves.
I remember when my friend Janine was so very sick with malignant melanoma....I woke up in the middle of the night with the urge to write down all the precious, wonderful, wacky, things I remembered about our friendship.
I took my journal, switched on the bedside light and began to write as the evening breeze blew through my curtains and brushed by me.
It was at once soothing and cathartic...as I rambled through my words I actually found myself smiling and sometimes even chuckling. I've actually looked back on that writing since....and love to relive that time in my life. Now that some time has passed it is no longer a bittersweet feeling but a wonderful sense of blessing that our souls were able to meet and spend that time together and a reflection on what exactly I've gained and learned from our time together...albeit brief.
My memories of my dear, departed mother weave through my everyday. There are way too many to write down but they are forever written in my heart, in surprising recognition of a familiar inflection of a phrase that I may inadvertantly say, in the moments of deja vu with my own children...when I catch myself in her role in my own children's life, in the fragrance of the cooking scents that come from a favorite recipe and the wafting, sweet scent of the lilacs she would put in my bedroom when I was a child or send with me in bunches as I prepared to leave after a visit once I'd grown.
Most times now, though...my mother comes to me in my dreams. They are wonderfully comforting....I swear it is JUST like being with her again...and I awake convinced in the deepest part of my soul that our spirits are still entwined and that there is indeed an eternity. I know she is with me now as I am tied to this earth and helping me through those days when this earthly work gets tough...and whispering of the promise of a sweet restful reward when my work is done.
Memories are wonderful,aren't they ?....enjoy them and ...I encourage you to write them down! Not because YOU will ever forget them...but because someday your beautiful children will be looking for comfort and little truffles to sweeten their memories...and there they will be...whispering comforting lessons and promises.
Thank you for sharing your precious memories.What a gift we have in you!
Lovingly,
Cori

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this wonderful post, Patty. I can hardly type due to my tears over such sweet memories. I am so glad you shared them here. When Jan told me you two were heading down to Provincetown next week it was great news. Remember, make more memories, cherish every moment... and all those other cliche sounding things that come to mind. They aren't cliches in this instance.

Love you both,
Sondra

Anonymous said...

Dear Patty and Lynne......This morning, as I struggled to fianlly respond to Lynne's last blog entry, I thought, "I should send Patty a note, too." What I really wanted to do was give you a most wonderful book a friend gave to me as my dad's illness progressed. I guess I've hesitated in "going there", because I don't want you to think I've "thrown in the towel" on Lynne's illness. The book is called, "Final Gifts". It is a book about gifts the dying DO really give us. We need to recognize them ASthey are given. And, as I recall again how Sondra wrote awhile ago, that "life itself is terminal" (and that we sometimes are given a "heads up, we all DO have the opportunity to "pay attention" and love as compassionately as we can EACH and EVERY day, no matter the response, or lack of one....And, as strange as this may seem, WHAT a GIFT we have all received from Lynne, in the giving of self.... in letting us into her world of terminal illness!.....Patty and Lynne, please hurry and make many more memories together. What a testimony your life together,as one, have been to the power of love....As well, it is so clear that, from all this sharing, we are here, truly, to love and to heal one another.....Godspeed, Friends. Love, Jamie

Anonymous said...

patty- i'm so glad you two are getting away to your favorite polace in the world- how perfect !!! enjoy-
love, alice

Anonymous said...

Patty,
I am thinking of you both with great love. There truly are no words to express to you my heartfelt feelings so just know that each day you are in my prayers.

Much love,
Darcy

Sienna said...

Nobody, no thing, no disease or illness can ever ever take from people what they have together, what they share and love and create...

Angel's Landing sounds absolutely beautiful, you will have some more wonderful memories to take from there.

Lynne that is excellent you building upon your strength (and appetite), by small degrees, you have great strength and determination and the bestest of best support!

I am angry and sad with you guys, but for now it's Angel's Landing!

Peace and strength to you both.

Pam

Sandy said...

Patty,

...tender sweet memories, woven together in a rich tapestry of your love. May you and Lynne have many more golden threads to add to the design.

love, Sandy and Mark

laurie said...

It's funny that in all of the years that our families have been in Ptown at the same time, we have almost never seen each other there. It is a special place full of memories that stretch back to our beginnings, as lesbians, as couples, as families.

I send all of my love for you and for that place. I really want your time there to be wonderful, not preconceived, but just as it is and as it should be.

I love you both, Laurie

Anonymous said...

Dear Lynne and Patty,
I'm back from Florida and the holiday company who were already here when I got home have left. The heat of the day has given me a chance to catch up on the last week of your blog before I head out to work in the gardens. (Strawberries are ripening now.)Time to reflect, time to cry, time to rejoice in our friendship.
Have a wonderful time in Ptown. I'm wishing you sunsets, an appetite for good food, and a sense of peace. (Lynne, didn't we return a key to Angel's Landing last summer? I'm picturing the two of you enjoying the deck there, although I may have the wrong place.)
Love to both of you,
Bev

Anonymous said...

Patty and Lynne,

I'm glad to hear you are returning to Ptown...a special place for both of you...a time to remember cherished memories...and an opportunity to make new ones. I hope you are able to enjoy one another and be present to the moment.

My thoughts and prayers will be with you both...may you know that you are surrounded by love, healing light and peace...as well as a great cloud of witnesses...who walk with you as you seek to navigate this challenging journey.

May the smell of the saltair...the touch of a gentle breeze against your skin...the sound of the waves crashing on the seashore...the feel of the sand beneath your feet...the glow of the moonlight...and the colors in the sky from the sun setting on the horizon...comfort your souls... and remind you...you are not alone.

Much Love,
Debbie

Carrie said...

{{Hug}}
Please know I keep both you and Patty in my thoughts daily.
Love,
Carrie

Sue Flynn said...

Patty & Lynne

Enjoy your special place. With the crowds gone it should be peaceful for you.

Sue

Anonymous said...

Patty,
Reading this, I am struck by how very Blessed you and Lynne are to have found each other. The "match made in Heaven" may be a cliche, but I think it fits here. I love reading the memories you share, and I'm touched that you are willing to share them with all of us.
I pray that you'll be able to take another trip to PTown at the end of this month, to be where so much of your life together has taken place.
Peace and Love,
Mary M

TonyO said...

Hi...

I was amazed to discover a soul in such a similar situation dealing with it all in such a similar way. If you'd care to, please visit my blog at http://ohsocosy.wordpress.com.
Perhaps we can share something?

TonyO