Saturday, April 07, 2007

Fatigue . . . and other side effects

I'm tired, bone tired, today, and I'm sure it's the chemo and nothing more. The chemo nurse told me that a few days post infusion I might feel "flu-like symptoms," aches and pains like the flu. I don't feel achy, but I've felt increasingly tired and sleepy yesterday and today. I don't feel like moving, but resting doesn't really revive me, either. I remember Leroy, in his blog last fall, referring to a tiredness, a fatigue, that no sleep can resolve. I didn't feel that degree of tiredness during my first chemo regimen, but I surely am now.

The good news? Unlike with the first chemo regimen, I can drink cold beverages, a great relief, and stay hydrated more easily. My appetite is marginally better, and I feel less vague nausea. Don't know how that will change when I stop taking the steroids, but I guess the danger of nausea and vomiting is greatest for the first three days.

The other good news? We went mattress shopping this afternoon, to replace our 10 1/2 year old mattress, and it was a good shopping to do when you just want to lay down! I checked out the mattresses and Patty talked with the sales guy. I've seen the chiropractor the last few weeks for a sore spot in my back, and this week he asked me how old our mattress was. I had to confess that we bought a new TV and a trip to St. John before the mattress! At the store, they weren't busy, so it wasn't difficult to make a decision, and we will have our new mattress and a new twin mattress for Nathaniel's bottom bunk delivered next week. Resting on the job, mission accomplished!

Thinking about your comments this week, I wanted you to know that I love the suggestion of the tumor "melting, melting!" like the Wicked Witch of the West in Wizard of Oz, and even incorporated it with a new visualization that came to me. In it, the tumor shifts from being the fierce Portuguese Man-o-war I've seen since this new tumor invaded my insides, to a jellyfish blob like we see on Cape Cod beaches later in summer. Those clear jelly blobs easily dissolve in the sunlight on the beach, so this one is doing that, and melting!

I loved the music and suggestions for "Shrink that Tumor!" Lucy made up a cheer, but she can't remember the words from day to day. They are always entertaining, though, and I try to get her to chant it at least once a day. Any other rhythm or song suggestions still accepted!

And about my post on mortality this Holy Week, I was deeply moved by the sharing of those of you who resonated with what I had to say, and who could find words to articulate your own journey. Your stories and reflections enrich us all.

The waiting for Easter is almost over. May your day tomorrow be full of celebration and joy, family and friends, love and sunshine, and the wonder of life renewed.


Anonymous said...

Rest and let yourself relax on the wonderful new mattress!!
We also "caved in" and bought a new mattress as my back was KILLING me. I told Aram the barn manager needed a better mattress..heehee. We bought one of those with the memory foam topping. O.....MY.....GOD!
WHY did we wait so long????
ENJOY!!! Everytime I climb into bed ( which now feels like the mattress on the Princess and the Pea...(tall!!)) I say "I LOOOOVE this mattress!!"
Pretend you are on a cloud...and let yourself drift!
I like the "I'm meeeeltiiiing" visualization of the wicked witch too!!!
Happy Easter, dear friend!!

Anonymous said...

Mattress shopping! What a great project for a fatiqued body! I think that is a purchase we (all) tend to postpone too long, and I'll bet you will really enjoy that first night on the nice new one.
I'm glad you are able to drink again - that will be helpful, I'm sure. I hope the fatique will begin to diminish a little in spell before your next infusion.
I will surely be visualizing that jellyfish shrinking away to a little dry husk, crumbling to dust, and then blowing away with the breeze!
Mary M

Anonymous said...

hi lynne- sorry you're so darned tired- guess lexie knows what you're talking about, since she does have that theory on chemo all worked up and ready to go whenever someone seems to need it-
here's to good resting until you feel better- must be frustrating though, just the not knowing when it will let up and you'll feel better -
hang in there-
love, alice