Gratitude and Impatience

Since gratitude and patience are thought to be two virtues/positive attributes, it may seem strange to have gratitude and impatience together in a post title. Still, in this continuation of "what's changed in the last 7 months," these are two qualities I have cultivated in these months. I can't say that these additional thoughts came to me while washing dishes, but here they are.

Impatience first. While patience is the recognized virtue, impatience in the face of injustice or wrongdoing is a also an important virtue. Since my diagnosis, I just don't feel all that patient with nonsense, with cruelty, wrongheaded thinking, people treating each other badly.

So, this is where I get political. A year ago, I would have held my tongue in a "public" forum unless asked to speak, but now I don't have time or patience to suffer injustice. Tuesday, the Massachusetts legislature, sitting in Constitutional Convention, voted to put marriage equality on the ballot in 2008. I wept when I read of their actions, because Patty and I have been "married in Massachusetts" since June, 2004. I am deeply angered that anyone would want to take away from us (or would have denied it in the first place) the right to legal recognition of our relationship, and the benefits that society and the government have chosen to bestow on those in a legally recognized relationship. Their action doesn't finally put this proposed constitutional amendment on the ballot, as it must be passed by another session of the legislature. So, in the last day, I have contemplated personally visiting each of the 62 legislators who voted to move this proposed constitutional amendment on, and ask them to vote differently next time. And, if you aren't already familiar with this issue, and think that people should always have a right to vote on proposed constitutional amendments, ask yourself whether or not you think constitutional amendments should be used to take away the rights of any minority group. In addition, there's a reason why the legislature votes first. I'm going to ask those representatives to represent me and my family in their vote. I'm not naive, and I do realize that this is a hotly contested issue across the country, but right now, I want to say that this affects me, my life, my spouse, my children, and it hurts us.

As you can see, I feel impatient. I don't have 20-30 years, it seems, for society to get this right...

A postscript to this is that I am still working on my patience as a parent. That's a tough attribute to develop and maintain in parenting, I think.

Gratitude is a quality I've worked to develop all of my life. I try to remember to thank and appreciate those who have reached out to me, who have gifted me in some way. And, I keep working to do a still-better job of expressing my gratitude, to people in my life, and to God. I have felt immense gratitude for the gift of life in these past 7 months. I am grateful to God for my existence, and grateful to my parents for the gift of life made manifest. And I am grateful to all those souls I have met during my life, my fellow journeyers and teachers

I remember that when Patty and I first got together, 16 1/2 years ago, we developed a habit of sitting in silent grace before sharing a meal. After weeks of doing this, I realized that I felt immense gratitude for my job, my work, my profession. This may seem like an "of course" sort of moment, but I hadn't realized the depth of my gratitude until then. I certainly hadn't found the words to give thanks for a job I love.

As I was working on this post, I found an email from my friend Sandy, who shared this thought from her November calendar: Gratitude. More aware of what you have than what you don't. Recognizing the treasure in the simple - a child's hug, fertile soil, a golden sunset. Relishing in the comfort of the common - a warm bed, a hot meal, a clean shirt - Max Lucado

Those concrete, body comfort moments are an important piece of feeling gratitude, I think. Max Lucado has it right; the warm, familiar bed, comforting surroundings, loving presence, creature comforts attended to. More aware of what you have than what you don't. That's where I aim to be.